Strength

Where does one find personal strength? Is it something built into one's character; something learned by parents; or, something that some have and other's don't?

I consider myself a very strong person. I take after my mom in that way. My mom, faced with great adversity, always found a way to rise to the top. However, she was not very happy. She took on so much burden she was unable to enjoy life. I believe that sometimes with strength comes loneliness. I used to believe that I could take care of everything myself and tried not to ask for help. I endured many years of emotional and physical abuse from my ex-husband and never talked to anyone except my therapist about it. This was a big mistake because when I left him after almost 20 years of marriage, no one understood. To everyone, we looked like a normal family. I cannot say what gave me the strength all those years but I can say that I am in a much better place today and I am ready to finally live.

In the last few years I started to realize that I cannot do it all by myself. My brother is my biggest supporter and, even when he is sick of me, still picks up the phone when I call. I also have a handful of friends (you all know who you are) that are unwavering. I know that if I called on any one of them, they would drop everything to help. And, I hope they feel they can count on me as well. Today, this is where my strength comes from. So, when I only lose 2.2 pounds in a week, my friends and family tell me not to give up, that I have nothing to lose (except the weight).

It feels great to have such a wonderful support system. I love you all!!