Commitments

As week 2 ended, I started to reflect a little about why I have committed to this program. I sat in my group meeting yesterday listening to over half of the group talking about how they are having a real problem sticking to the program and food is the only thing they can think about. I watched as one person was almost in tears as she explained how she had eaten one meal, which consisted of a small piece of fish and some asparagus and gained two pounds. The counselor quickly explained to her that there is no way that she could have eaten just that and gained weight. I have seen that look in her eyes in myself and know that she is not going to last on this program. I have been the same way so many times and that is when I give up. I am not feeling that way, in fact, just the opposite. I am so relieved not to have to worry about food. It is one less thing that I have to think about.

So what makes this commitment different? I am fully committed. I cannot think of anything else in my life that I want more. I want to be healthy and walk up a flight of stairs without passing out. I want to go to magic mountain and ride all of the rides because I can (there is nothing worse than trying to fit my ass into some of those seats). I recently went on a work outing where we raced go-carts. I had to force myself into the seat and it hurt so bad that I could not even enjoy the race. I don't want that anymore. I just want to be normal.

I had my 2nd weigh-in yesterday and was disappointed yet again. I lost 4.7 pounds, which makes my total for 2 weeks 12.5 pounds. I have a feeling that I am not losing more weight because I sit down all day at work and barely get up to walk. So, tonight when I got home from work and the grocery store (my kid still has to eat), I went to the gym and walked...very, very slowly... for 20 minutes. I figure now is the best time to see if a little more exercise won't jump start my super slow metabolism. In the meantime, I just need to hang in there.